Friday 16 September 2016

the camping trip

One day a whole family went on a camping trip. When they got there they went into a lake where they were swimming doing bombs. Until night time arrived. They lost everything their tents, there food even the mum’s husband left them to die. “I wish we never came out here” said josh. “I agree I wish we never came out. Were all alone” said meley. “We just need to get back to the road does any on know where it is” said the mum. They left the map in the car which the husband took. And the only way to get back was the car.


They tried to find the road but someone found them first. His name was Jason a lonely night stalker. He has a mask and a multitude of weapons but no guns, and dirty clothes that have never been washed in years. He takes josh and meley and keeps them as slaves. He bring them to his cabin with red stars hanging from the outside roof. He only takes his mask off when his witnesses are asleep.

“I think I know who Jason is” said josh “are you thinking what i'm thinking” said meley “it’s our teacher” that's what they said at the same time quietly. There tied with barbed wire so they can never escape. But jason forget to tie meley hands so know can get out of the barbed wires. Meley gets out of the barbed wires she helps josh get out of the barbed wires. They escaped from the barbed wires thru the door past the red star and back to the city. They walked all the way home and then they noticed that dad wasn’t home and thats when they knew jason was dad. The end.

4 comments:

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  3. Talofa,
    My name is Eucharist and I am a student at Takanini School. I really like your story it’s full of imagination and I can imagine me being there. It made me think of a story that involved a chupacabra . Have you thought about proof reading your sentences? I see common mistakes.

    By Eucharist

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  4. hello LJ

    this piece of writing is pretty nice for your age nah JK it's good as I am looking foreword to seeing even better writing from you some other time later on

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